Pee Little Thrigs and a Maldatian
Zoë was perched on the corner of the new stone wall by the front steps, Sphinx-like with her eyes wide and ears pitched slightly forward.
“What’s Zoë looking at?”
“I don’t know, but she sure is interested.”
We peered out into the twilight, seeing nothing, but hearing the crackle of the twigs and the crunch of the leaves in the duff. Zoë was obviously following something in the woods in front of the house - maybe it was somethings.
“Too early for Simon.”
“It’s probably the dogs that ran off when I went to the mailbox.”
“Dogs with an ‘s’?”
“Three, four, maybe more. Haven‘t seen them before.”
“Big?”
“Sortta.”
“Uh oh! Regular pack huh? Hope nobody’s in heat, Gryphon’s gonna be nutz.”
“Don’t think that’s it. Funny dogs … fat … well fed … there they are!”
I looked where “B” was pointing, in the margins along the upper driveway, There was a big black something, 2 smaller black somethings and a big white with black spots something. I started laughing, looked down at Gryphon who was on alert, but sitting beside me and said, “Those? Those are dogs? They’re pigs!”
“Nuh uh!” was the indignant reply and she grabbed the cultivator and marched off.
“Where’re you going?” I said, a little alarmed as she was brandishing her weapon up the drive. I followed after, hoping to prevent a Sus scrofian war.
“Redford’s one too many pigs for me … IF they are pigs!”
“B” stopped. I stopped. The pigs emerged from the junipers and they, too, stopped and stood their porcine ground - probably assessing whether or not we had food in our hands. The white pig with black spots snorted and grumbled.
“Look! It’s the pee little thrigs and a maldatian, out on holiday," I said, laughing. "They‘ll go home when they get hungry.”
“B” stamps her foot and the 4 pigs bolt back into the junipers. “No holiday in MY yard …” she mutters, then smiled and repeated, “pee little thrigs, my ass! What the hell is a maldatian … OH!” She punches my arm.
We walked back to the porch and sat with our drinks. She looked out into the trees beyond and, after a few reflective moments, said, “They did LOOK like dogs … didn’t they?”
I smiled and handed “B” her glasses.
“What’s Zoë looking at?”
“I don’t know, but she sure is interested.”
We peered out into the twilight, seeing nothing, but hearing the crackle of the twigs and the crunch of the leaves in the duff. Zoë was obviously following something in the woods in front of the house - maybe it was somethings.
“Too early for Simon.”
“It’s probably the dogs that ran off when I went to the mailbox.”
“Dogs with an ‘s’?”
“Three, four, maybe more. Haven‘t seen them before.”
“Big?”
“Sortta.”
“Uh oh! Regular pack huh? Hope nobody’s in heat, Gryphon’s gonna be nutz.”
“Don’t think that’s it. Funny dogs … fat … well fed … there they are!”
I looked where “B” was pointing, in the margins along the upper driveway, There was a big black something, 2 smaller black somethings and a big white with black spots something. I started laughing, looked down at Gryphon who was on alert, but sitting beside me and said, “Those? Those are dogs? They’re pigs!”
“Nuh uh!” was the indignant reply and she grabbed the cultivator and marched off.
“Where’re you going?” I said, a little alarmed as she was brandishing her weapon up the drive. I followed after, hoping to prevent a Sus scrofian war.
“Redford’s one too many pigs for me … IF they are pigs!”
“B” stopped. I stopped. The pigs emerged from the junipers and they, too, stopped and stood their porcine ground - probably assessing whether or not we had food in our hands. The white pig with black spots snorted and grumbled.
“Look! It’s the pee little thrigs and a maldatian, out on holiday," I said, laughing. "They‘ll go home when they get hungry.”
“B” stamps her foot and the 4 pigs bolt back into the junipers. “No holiday in MY yard …” she mutters, then smiled and repeated, “pee little thrigs, my ass! What the hell is a maldatian … OH!” She punches my arm.
We walked back to the porch and sat with our drinks. She looked out into the trees beyond and, after a few reflective moments, said, “They did LOOK like dogs … didn’t they?”
I smiled and handed “B” her glasses.
posted by Seamus at 10:57 AM
27 Comments:
You like those spoonerisms, eh? in the 50's, when my brother was in high school or just out, he listened to those all the time. I can't remember the guy who recorded them, but they were a regular staple at our house. I was grade school and junior high, and thought my brother was so weird. He still is! You might like this site: http://www.matthewgoldman.com/spoon/rindercella_2.html
Happy Labor Day!
Lynilu ~ It was Archie Campbell who recorded these as I recall (there may have been others)- made really popular through the show Hee Haw later. They've stuck with me for lo these many years. :)
LOL...weird dogs you've got around there :p
Well, at least they were friendly enough...or maybe I should say easily enough to scare off :)
LOL. I love it!
Oh how I love reading your life! Such a joy to feel as though I'm sitting on the porch with you and "B' and enjoying the wild life that has adopted you!
Sandi
Dogs... hogs.. so close. :)
Sounds like you have such a lovely life.
What a hoot.....pigs or dogs....still funny!!!
I see nothing without my glasses either.;))
But I am so amazed that you live so close to such an interesting wild life.;))
Thank you for sharing that bit of your morning with us Seamus! Love that front porch feeling you give. Hope there aren't too many of those pigs. They can become a problem and sometimes a dangerous one.
Cheers,
Lee
I had to say it aloud to make sense of that
:p
I like that "B" she sounds like a great partner for you.
And as always, I love the images and words you share...
contented sigh
Too funny.
I once said Sweet Bludy Jew Eyes on the air when I meant to say Suite Judy Blue Eyes (Crosby, Stills and Nash).
The name stuck. Now I have to hear about it all the time.
LOL! what a treat to a little exchange with B. i can well picture it.
LOL! Sounds like me without my glasses!
Reminds me of the time someone said, "Oh, look at those big dogs standing by the road!" This was until someone informed her... they were deer. :-)
P.S. It wasn't me, I know the difference!
Aw, what's in a name, eh? I do so love the sound of this "B" of yours, no wonder you are so grounded! Life would be so dull with laser surgery (that's my excuse). Smile.
Made me laugh!!
Wow, PIGS?? I don't think I have ever seen a pig up close.
Tell "B" not to feel too bad...I just went to the eye doctor today and things are definitely not getting any better. New script for glasses, but it was the same for my contacts.
Have a great week!
xo
Lee Ann
Funny! :D) Have a good weekend, Seamus!!!
Funny story :)
As I read, I was reminded of Archie Campbell and those spoonerism stories he told in his Hee Haw barbershop ;)
Until the cows come home ... oopsie ... until the dogs, er, pigs, show up .... ;-)
Are these feral pigs or the real wild things?
Hope the heat has abated a bit in your parts of the world! Here autumn has settled in, gorgeous blue skies and sweet cool nights, just right. Could go on forever .... no objections from my side. Cheers!
It's time for your monthly post, my friend. xo
Hear hear JammieJ... we want a post!
All is well that ends well. Maybe they were dogs after all so what if they barked their grunts.
Lovely story.
There are dogs who always bark in the early mornings around here! Have a good weekend, Seamus!!!
Too funny!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Seamus!!!
I really do wish you'd come back to the blog.
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