Wednesday, April 27, 2005

OKRA TAIL





A priest, a nun and rabbi were…oh! wait! that’s another tale. OKRA Seamus, stay on task!

I’m a staunch recovering Catholic cum Pagan and in my teens I befriended a young, wet-behind-the-ear, just off the boat from Ireland, new priest just out of the seminary - Father Schaun. He was probably the only redeeming feature in a religion that I was growing increasingly weary of and soon abandoned for more real and earthly pleasures.

Father Schaun was intelligent, quick witted and world wise in many ways but horribly naïve in others. Many years after I walked away from the church I ran into Father Schaun at a seminar – sans collar! I soon found out the “Father” was now “Mr.” or simply Schaun. He left the priesthood and was pursuing life as an un-celibate real live human being. Woo Hoo! He had been SAVED!

Schaun and I picked up right where we left off in our friendship, only now it was no longer constrained by religious tyranny. Schaun, I found out, was very busy trying to undo his “bout” with celibacy (a ridiculous and stupid concept in my opinion). I was being introduced to girlfriend after girlfriend and my Ex and I would often go clubbing with Schaun and “new fascination”. It took me a little while to fully comprehend the situational turn but was very pleased to bear witness to the “coming of Schaun”. Yes! I know what I just said…and what does this have to do with OKRA? We’re getting there.

Sunday dinner became the norm at our house since Ex also happened to be an excellent southern fried cook. We would often have 2 – 3 couples and a few strays over, usually in varying states of hangover and almost always included Schaun and date of the week. Dinner conversations usually dissolved into overt sexual reference fueled in intensity relative to the amount of alcohol consumed. It was most interesting and enlightening to observe Shaun-formally-known-as-Father participating rather vigorously in said conversations.

It was on one such occasion that Ex decided to cook boiled okra (see – told you I’d get here!). No issue with that, reasonable fare for Sunday dinner except that Schaun had never tried it. Now Schaun was never one to turn down food but as the bowl passed his way he got a look on his face that was the epitome of comic horror. We all assured Schaun that this was indeed a viable food source, but he was unconvinced. It became a game with us and we unmercifully badgered him into trying some of the gooey pod.

Schaun, not unlike a 4 year old reluctant to try something, pushed the pod around his plate for a minute before succumbing to the scrutiny of the others and proceeded to eat the pod. The look of constrained revulsion on his face was priceless! He did try and maintain some decorum and graciously ate another bite.

Schaun could no longer stand it and said in his very Irish brogue, “How can you all eat something that’s wet and furry?”

It was all the five of us could do to not burst out laughing but the corners of our mouths were giving us away! Schaun continued to look his questioning straight self until that supreme moment of foot eating realization came as his current fascination arched an eyebrow at him, cracked a very wide grin and the whole table fell apart in hysterical laughter…and that my friends is the OKRA TAIL!

Friday, April 22, 2005

The Mountain's Out!!!

*A spectacular day in Seattle*



*Our view from the office.*

Here we often describe our weather by the view (or not) of Mt. Rainier. She was beautiful all day and bodes well for a great weekend here in the Great North Wet. I think I'll take the Buffledog for a romp in the snow at Paradise at about 5500 ft up the mountain - shhhh, don't tell him - he wouldn't leave me be if you did!




*A little weed peeps?*

This beauty in the weeds reminds me of Larry the Homeless Guy (LTHG to some). One of my first post was about LTHG and what I can tell you now is the LTHG is BACK! Read the LTHG back story and you'll know why this is such exciting news.

The Buffledog and I noticed LTHG a few mornings ago. It really wasn't until the second morning that I realized that this sleeper in the park was none other than the intrepid Larry. I still do not know whether or not LTHG is male or female, young or old and my conundrum remains the same. Suffice it to say that I'm extremely happy that our alcove camper is still with us and in that there may be hope!

Have a Happy Weekend everyone!

Monday, April 18, 2005

When asked how I came to be...

Long ago and far away there lived a pauperly prince in the land of EverWet; a very curious prince. The prince had a twin, a dizygotic twin; a princess that dwelt in the southern realm of the Golden Gate. The princess reached out and touched the prince one day with the softest of cyber touches and imparted the long hidden knowledge of the Land of Blog – a mystical, magical place of endless discovery and never ending mystery. The princess had a map of Blog tucked away in the hinterlands of her realm, guarded by magic monkeys donning fezzes. The map revealed much to the curious prince. The prince spent many hours absorbing this map and he began to wander, aimlessly at first, only to discover the Wonders of Celt and the delicious lethargy of Sloth. Fascinated, the prince wandered farther and chancing upon the Dark Rant of Vader he stepped through the swirling vortex and entered the Temple of the Sexy Tomatoes, where upon he knelt before the priestesses there; taking refuge amongst the Pillars of Fire and was anointed in the swirling Lake of Eros. It was there that he discovered that the Lady Celti was also a Priestess Tomato and knew that she was good.

The prince discovered his voice and began to speak throughout the Land of Blog and although he was speaking softly he was welcomed enthusiastically. The Indress of Sloshy-Bones was first to applaud and bequeathed the gift of confidence that carried him forth. The prince with his Bellufia Dragon began to explore the Secret Gardens of Victoria where other Bellufia roamed and Eagles soared. Duchess Cooters of Ang-wa in spirited congress with the Wizard of the Seven Dogs on the shores of Nalins deemed the voice worthy to hear. The prince ventured forth into the Dark Forrest of Psyco-rabid Rodents brightened only by an Amazing Hunk of Flying Red Sex and protected by her warring Toms. Wings of daring carried them to Monica's Beach and there were well met by Michael the Magician and his apprentice Max, who proffered guiding inspiration on Bellufia. Peacharin of Nannia on the rocky shores of Lake WestByGawd bestowed her generous wisdom on the subject of Poink; pointing the prince toward the northerrn Kingdom of Bean and its sunny Countess Choculatta for answers to life’s most ponderable question. Also in Nannia was studied the Random Acts of Aimeeson et Em and the restive Ride of Noon ahorse Jinx the magnificent deftly dodging the ludicrous Lakes of Piddle. The prince, seeking wisdom from the Wizard of the Seven, was shown the Nine Delectable Dances of Brighton Veils and went forth inspired. Their travels took them down the alternative DairyFree Causeway where they witnessed speakable acts of witty sacrilege onl
y to stand naked and unafraid before the Fuhrer, spitting in Its face in a moment of unparalleled lucidity...and that is how I came to be...
here!

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Murphy has its way with us!

*Mickjasfdned*

Just what is it about this week, eh? This seems to have been a text book version of Murphy-dom for me and apparently for many of you as well.

Monday morning I walk into the “BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH”, a sight so hideous that there’ll probably be a horror flick based on it. There was no saving it and I knew I was in deep Buffle-poo when I saw my computer cradled in the arms of the Wicked IT Tech. I swear I’m hanging garlic cloves on the door. I knew the news was not going to be good when Wicked IT Tech asked off-handedly, “You didn’t have anything important saved on your C drive did you?” NO-O-O-O-O! So, here I am peeps with a squeaky clean reformatted hard drive bereft of all the stuff I was too lazy to put on the goddamn server. That’ll teach me……..for the third time. Some of us are incapable of learning life’s little lessons.

I am appalled at the deepening dependence I have on the beloved computer. I suppose if I had planned on being without it’s company for a couple of days I might have taken time off, thought about using the phone, gotten a haircut, flown to Hawaii or clipped my toenails. Instead, blindsided, I wandered around the plant trying to look interested in peeps trying to engage me in some conversation or other. I would pass by the IT jail and look longingly at my electronic miscreant and Wicked IT Tech would just shake his head no. I would just go to the door of the building and stare at whatever weather was happening at the moment not really caring what it was doing. Oh, I had work to do – fucking tons of work to do – important work to do, but my ever loving brains were being “f-disked” away and it was JUST WRONG!

Bad enough that I lost a necessary work tool, BUT I’d lost connection with my Blogger family and THAT SUCKED!!!

Ok, so I could go home and ride the trusty steed there into Blogger-land – HAH! I’m telling you, Murphy was gonna have its way this week! Firewall down, update downloads gone wild and a general darkening of my usually sunny self basically shut me down. “Gates” in retrograde. FUCK!

Of course, the week hasn’t been all screwed. The highlight of my week was participating in a group activity that made someone very happy! Made up for everything else! Really!

So I tiptoe very quietly into Friday and hopefully leave Murphy-who-shall-not-be-named way behind – shhhhhh – be berry, berry qui-et – shhhhh!
*Mickjasfdned*

Sunday, April 10, 2005

One half of my awake life...

...is spent within these walls. Since Lovisa suggested over at Michael's that everyone post their "blog space" here's mine. This is where I do most of my blog activity; well, in between the never-ending-meeting and "gotta have it yesterday." So, if I have to spend that much of my time in someone else's game I'm going to fluff it up as much as possible. I think it's funny that most of my co-workers have such Spartan accommodations and give me *shit* for mine - but - guess where the hang spot is??? Well, that is if the Buffledog likes them!

Unfortunately this will soon be "the place formally known as mine" with a move to a new location! New digs are under construction - that'll be an adventure - pffft!




Yep, it's usually this neat! No Shit!!!!



Gratuitous Bufflepup pics!



Bufflerug!



My neighbor and sometimes view out my window!
(here ya go se7en - gratuitous mechanical eye candy)

HAPPY MONDAY ALL!

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Dedicated to Julie and the "buffle-chomp"

AS PROMISED JULZ !





ALL SWEETNESS AND INNOCENCE!






THE SET-UP / LITTLE NIBBLE!





THE BUFFLE-CHOMP!!!!!


There ya go Julz - I have sympathy - AND - scars!!!!
Aren't we glad they grow outta these neddle-teeth?

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!

Monday, April 04, 2005

What's on your nightstand?

No, "Astroglide for Dummies" won't count!


There's a bunch of "post" material floating around in my draft pile but I couldn't stop thinking about this list from Cootera's. So, for the want of a post today you shall be inflicted with:



You're stuck inside Fahrenheit 451, which book do you want to be?


Steel Magnolias???

Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?

Crush? Crush! Worst crush ever: Lily Mongomery in The Magus by John Fowles

The last book you bought:

I usually buy books by the bag at 2nd hand bookstores; HOWEVER, this was the last Amazon haul:
  • Half in Shadow - Mary Elizabeth Councilman
  • Encounters with the Archdruid - John McPhee
  • Imajica - Clive Barker (2nd time around)
  • Some of my best friends are NAKED - Tim Keefe

The last book you read:

It's embarrassing how many I have going at once and how many are near completion. Here goes:

Finished almost simutaneously

  • Under the Banner of Heaven - Jon Krakauer
  • The Wolves of the Calla - Stephen King
  • The Dog Who Wouldn't Be - Farley Mowat

On-going (one for every room!)

  • The Snow Leopard - Peter Matthiessen
  • The Floatplane Notebooks - Clyde Edgerton
  • Coming Into Country - John McPhee (2nd time around)
  • Prairyerth - William Least Heat-Moon



Five books you would take to a deserted island…and why?

  • Desert Solitaire - Edward Abbey...............for when I'd lose sight of the surrounding beauty
  • The Little Country - Charles de Lint............sheer heritage and magic
  • 3 by Flannery O'Connor..............................ancestral roots
  • The Magus - John Fowles...........................magic and lust
  • Ulysses - James Joyce...............................time to thoroughly grok



Who are you going to pass this stick to (3 persons) and why?

Three persons hell! I want to know what on everybodys nightstand! *blink*

NIGHT Y'ALL!

Sunday, April 03, 2005

The rest of the story - part 5 & Epilogue

The next few months proved to be a complete distraction from the Buffledog’s difficulties. Mom passed away in late February and there was a landslide of activity and duty that consumed my time. Dad needed a lot of assistance during the transition and the only quiet moments I seemed to have had were during the many flights between Seattle and Atlanta. May rolled around and I realized I needed to switch off the autopilot and step back into my life again.



Amongst my many neglected projects was the quest to find a more adequate solution to Taylor’s compromised elbows. He hadn’t gotten any worse, but he hadn’t gotten any better either. I found myself taking a few familiar paths and some new ones as well. The familiar ones I looked at to see if there was anything I had overlooked in my fit and fury during December. A new path I had taken was the result of an article/advertisement I read in an in-flight magazine. It had to do with injections of HGH (Human Growth Hormone) into the arthritic joints of patients in a clinic in Miami. Although I contacted the clinic in search of anyone who might be doing the same therapy on animals, the ultimate path was a “Hail Mary” bulk e-mail to all the vet colleges on the west coast in search of any research or alternative therapies of which they might be aware.

Although I did get many replies from the various schools, they all pretty much mirrored the same information that I had received previously. I was becoming increasingly frustrated and despondent and I knew that it was affecting my work. Hot Sauce was convinced that I’d “gone round the bend” and our discussions regarding the search became pretty stilted. I was sharing with a coworker one day my frustration and I heard the phone ringing in my office. The call was from a department head at UC Davis in California. After the introductions were expressed he made a simple statement that made all the effort worthwhile: “I believe that we can help your dog!” He then proceeded to talk non-stop for the next 30 minutes and I was left with the charge of both making a decision and setting an appointment.

They apparently have had an ongoing study of Canine Elbow Dysplasia and were very interested in treating Taylor. Several phone calls later the 2nd week in August was slated as the appropriate time. That was the second week of a two week vacation. The first was spent in Atlanta helping dad and we flew home on Saturday morning, petted the cats and took them to board. We loaded up Taylor for his big California adventure and started the journey from Seattle to Davis, Ca. near Sacramento.

I should note here that the Buffle-pooch is a near perfect traveler; another plus of his remarkable personality.



Monday dawns and we get ready to take him in for his initial work-up. I will say that I wasn’t prepared to have to leave him there that morning, a miscommunication from the front office. I knew he was in good hands though after meeting the staff, the doctor and the students. The student assigned to Taylor kept us well informed throughout the next 2 days. The surgery went fine and without complications. Only time would tell of its relative success, but they seemed extremely confident that the Buffledog’s condition would be greatly improved. The surgery was not necessarily unique, but the attention, care, thoroughness, thoughtfulness and CONFIDENCE made all the difference. That coupled with viable alternatives if this surgery did not provide the relief sought.

We got a call on Wednesday morning at 6 am that he would be ready to go at 9; that he’d already been up and out for a short walk. During the check-out conference they thoroughly explained all that they did and the result. The up-shot of the procedure was a bi-lateral arthroscopy. They had removed an amazing amount of bone and cartilage fragments – one chunk was the size of the end of my pinky. We were stunned at the two vials of debris that they gave us and all I could think was, “why hadn’t we done this sooner?” knowing that it was a rhetorical question. You can see now why I am so astonished that anything we had done previously had worked – acupuncture, et al.



He wasn’t going to be perfect; there were still areas in the joints that were bereft of cartilage and would more than likely lead to an early onset of osteoarthritis. They did inject the joints with Hyaluronic acid to help mitigate the pain and improve the functionality of the joints. We will repeat the HA injections in the next few months as a precautionary measure. Also in the check-out package was a DVD of the recording they took while they were inside the joints. It was months before I dared to watch. They brought him out but he knew we were there before he ever saw us and it was all the intern could do to restrain him coming down the hall. Never have I seen him so happy to see us and the look on his face said, “Get me outta here!”

He was doing so well on the ride home that we decided to just drive straight through and disturb him as little as possible. It was a pretty subdued ride home, given the level of our exhaustion. We knew that only time would tell if this had truly been a success. Hot Sauce did thank me for my crazy myopic vision regarding finding help. She said what the dog could not and I was satisfied.



EPILOGUE

It’s been 7 months now. Taylor is pretty much a normal, happy dog. We still may have issues to come, but I’m so very grateful to have him as comfortable as he is. I cannot watch him run after squirrels and crows without breaking out in a laugh and being thankful that I got the phone call from UC Davis. The words, “I believe we can help your dog” are permanently etched in my memory.



Saturday, April 02, 2005

The rest of the story - part 4

Obsessed, that’s what I had become. There is no kinder word for it. We were exploring every notion, every bit of advice and every home remedy. I would sit for hours surfing the web, sniffing out anything that sounded promising. The end result was a combination of supplements that seemed to give him some relief over time.



One of the more surreal efforts was a trip to an animal acupuncturist – yes, I wrote that correctly. The whole experience was quite fascinating, not to mention expensive. The level of desperation will be apparent here: we followed this on the recommendation of a car salesman (my sincerest apologies to any Blogger car sales peeps – we know it’s only temporary) who swore on his Civic that this acupuncturist helped his arthritic dog immensely. This guy was booked out 3 weeks and the sessions were $75 a throw – er – poke.

The day arrived for the session and after waiting for 30 minutes we were ushered into a small room with no chairs and some bizarre incense burning in the corner. The practitioner came in looking like a shaman wannabe throwback from Haight Ashbury, circa 1969. He was VERY soft-spoken and had that blissed out countenance that smacked of many moons of herbal inhalation. Taylor took to him immediately and we all sat on the large hooked rug. He sort of explained what was about to happen after asking a few disconnected questions and suddenly we were looking at a totally blissed out furry pin cushion – yes, this practitioner was that good. Taylor was completely happy and it was at least 30 minutes before the needles came out. I was thinking, “Do me, do me next!”

We left with a very energetic dog and a bag of some ground herbal medley and a lighter wallet – cash only please! Taylor was better for some time; not perfect, but better. We decided to wait until after the first of the year for the next appointment. I called the breeder to share the good news and she sighed heavily into the phone! Wha’? This was supposed to be good news!

She was apparently on the way home from a surgical clinic in Sun Valley where she had taken Taylor’s sister for a hip exam. The dog was coming home with a prosthetic hip. Holy cow! How could these puppies have so many orthopedic issues? This litter came from 2 excellent lines with very minimal issues and now this! Over the next month three other littermates were found to have ortho issues as well. Half the litter and the breeder was devastated. I will say for the breeder, that she hung in there with us all. She would call if she hadn’t heard anything in a couple of days; always checking on the dog’s various conditions and offering what help and advice she could. She had been breeding for quite a while and said that his particular litter, more so than all the rest, had just burnt holes in the hearts of all who had them despite their difficulties. There was some comfort in numbers I suppose.



It was nearing the end of January and the Buffle-pooch had been doing quite well despite his swollen elbows. Our walks were still short and getting up was always a trial, but he was maintaining. A new acupuncture appointment had been made and I had already decided to take Taylor to the clinic in Sun Valley for further evaluation. Between the breeder and recommendations by others during my endless research had pointed favorably toward this clinic as one of the forerunners in Big Dog orthopedics.

Buffledog had outgrown the bathtub for his baths and an exploratory trip to the local self-service dog wash was undertaken. He was remarkably well behaved in this new environment but there was some difficulty in getting him up into the tub. We had already been using a set of plastic spa steps to get him in and out of the Explorer so we brought them in as an assist. Everything seemed fine at the time. The next morning I awoke to him whining at the bottom of the stairs. He usually came up and would stick a wet, cold nose in my face to announce that “they” were hungry. When I came down I saw, to my absolute and utter horror that he wasn’t weighting his left rear leg. Holy shit! Was there an end to this??? This poor, miserable fluff-ball was now in trouble on 3 corners. He didn’t understand and neither did I. I picked up the phone and left a message at the vet that we would be there when the doors opened.

He stayed for the day and the doctor diagnosed him with a torn cruciate ligament in the left knee! WHAT!? He wasn’t active enough to have torn his ligament. The doctor recommended surgery as soon as we could arrange it. We had several options and one was to have a TPLO (Tibial Plateau Leveling Osteotomy). Shit, I didn’t even like the sound of this but it reportedly had a much higher success rate, shorter convalescence and was stronger than a repair of the ligament itself. The very clinic in Sun Valley was very highly regarded in this operation, having done thousands of them, so we decided to make the journey and have them evaluate his elbows while we were there. In for a penny, in for a pound!

Taylor, Brother & Mom


It was a grueling trip over with virtually impassable winter conditions across the Blue Mountains at night. We stopped in Boise to see the breeder, new puppies, Taylor’s mom and brother and then on to Sun Valley for some help! Now it is both amusing and frustrating that the Buffledog was weighting his leg by the time we arrived in Boise and even the breeder was raising her eyebrows as to our sanity. He was actually walking normally by the time we got to the clinic and the doctor raised his eyebrows as well. He didn’t think the ligament was torn, but we all decided to sedate the Boy and do a series of x-rays on both his front end and back end. Hips, knees, ankles, wrist and elbows all were going to be on film. The upshot of the exam was that he didn’t have a torn ligament – maybe a sprained ankle, but no significant damage. All the other joints were in good working order except the elbows and they confirmed that the initial diagnosis was correct with some minor discrepancies. This was the expert I had been waiting for his opinion and the disappointing news was that he didn’t feel like Taylor was a good candidate for elbow surgery. He said they could go in and scope the joints but said he knew what he would see. He said the indications were that the Buffle-pooch had some “kissing lesions” on the elbow. These were areas of missing cartilage and the bones were rubbing together, i.e.: beginning osteo-arthritis. There really was little to do but keep him on pain meds (Rimadyl), control his weight and keep his exercise to a minimum with little or no roughhousing.

SHIT, PISS, FUCK AND DAMN!!!!! It was a long and disappointing ride home.

Now don’t get me wrong, we were extremely grateful that he didn’t have to have the TPLO performed. We were extremely grateful that our wallet wasn’t as flat as it might have been. What I found so disappointing was coming away with so little hope being offered for his elbows - that was beyond painful.

The Bookie-pooch had a big adventure and was sleeping peacefully in the back. Hot Sauce fell asleep and I was left feeling like I was between the devil and the deep blue sea – angry about an unsolvable problem.

I slowly began to develop an unbounded resolve as I burrowed on through the blinding snow and the darkness in the wee early hours of a new day.